


Pick Up Governor Marley

by AdaptationDecay



Category: Monkey Island
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-27
Updated: 2010-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-07 14:10:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/65902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdaptationDecay/pseuds/AdaptationDecay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pick Up Governor Marley. <br/>"That doesn't seem to work."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pick Up Governor Marley

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nic/gifts).



Walk to Governor Marley

Talk to Governor Marley

"Grlpyt?"  
"Mfrnkfbggly?"  
**"Masimawoogle?"**

"Masimawoogle? Guybrush what are you talking about?"

Walk to door

Walk to quayside

Walk to ship

Sail to Phatt Island

Walk to library

Use card catalogue

Walk to librarian

Talk to librarian

"I would like to borrow 'Loom: the Complete Walkthrough', please."  
**"I would like to borrow 'Seduction for Dummies', please."**  
"I would like to borrow 'Pirate to Opera Star: Life on the High Cs', please."

"Here you go, 'Seduction for Dummies'. It's due on December 21st."

Look at 'Seduction for Dummies'

"Chapter One: Pick Up Lines."

Walk to door

Walk to quayside

Walk to ship

Sail to Melee Island

Walk to Scumm Bar

Walk to Governor Marley

Pick up Governor Marley

"You f*** like a dairy farmer."  
"I can hold my breath for ten minutes!"  
**"You won't believe the size of what's in my pants."**

"Why, did you steal another ten foot banana picker from the cannibals?"

"You f*** like a dairy farmer."  
**"I can hold my breath for ten minutes!"**

"Sold. I'll meet you back at the mansion in half an hour."

Look at 'Seduction for Dummies'

"Chapter Two: Setting the Mood."

Walk to door

Walk to quayside

Walk to ship

Sail to Scabb Island

Walk to graveyard

Walk to grave

Pick up flowers

Look at flowers

"Lilies are romantic, right?"

Walk to swamp

Walk to boat

Row to House of Voodoo

Talk to Voodoo Lady

"I need your help."

"What is it you need to know?"

"Where do babies come from"  
**"Where can I find fine wines?"**  
"Why does nobody ever request Loom fanfic for Yuletide?"

"I have a bottle of Merlot I can give you, but in return you must find me the one thing that would do this island some good."

"What's that?"

"A copy of 'Pirate to Opera Star: Life on the High Cs'. Those pirates on the beach are driving away the tourists with their out-of-tune squawking."

Walk to door

Row to shore

Walk to quayside

Walk to ship

Sail to Phatt Island

Walk to library

Use card catalogue

Walk to librarian

Talk to librarian

"I would like to borrow '"Men of Low Moral Fibre" And Other Modern Euphemisms', please."  
"I would like to borrow 'Brew Your Own Root Beer: A Practical Guide to Personal Safety', please."  
**"I would like to borrow 'Pirate to Opera Star: Life on the High Cs', please."**

"Here you go, 'Pirate to Opera Star'. It's due on December 21st."

Walk to door

Walk to quayside

Walk to ship

Sail to Scabb Island

Walk to swamp

Walk to boat

Row to House of Voodoo

Give 'Pirate to Opera Star' to Voodoo Lady

"Thanks, here's your Merlot."

Look at bottle

"Monkey blood?"

Talk to Voodoo Lady

"Do you have a refunds policy?"  
"Is this wine suitable for people with monkey allergies?"  
**"WHY DOES THIS LABEL SAY 'MONKEY BLOOD'?!"**

"It's recycled glassware. You have to think about the environment these days, Guybrush."

Walk to door

Row to shore

Walk to quayside

Walk to ship

Sail to Melee Island

Walk to Governor's Mansion

Open door

Walk to stairs

Walk to bedroom

Open door

Look at Governor Marley in a negligee

"Masimawoogle."

Give bottle to Governor Marley in a negligee.

"I would, but I'm really trying to cut way back on monkey blood."

Give flowers to Governor Marley in a negligee.

"'Rest In Peace'? How... thoughtful."

Use Governor Marley in a negligee

"Wait. Do you have any protection?"

Walk to stairs

Walk to door

Walk to quayside

Walk to ship

Sail to Booty Island

Walk to Stan's Previously Owned Sex Aids

"Howdy! I'm Stan of Stan's Previously Owned Sex Aids and I'd dance a bolero to get you off. What sort of sex aid are you looking for? Large? Small? Vibrating? Dishwasher safe? You want it, I got it. And if I don't got it, I'll get it. I want to find you an erotic implement that makes you horny. Because if you're not horny, I'm not happy. But I KNOW you're going to leave here horny today. How do I know? Just look at all these sex aids. I've got something for everyone! Come take a look around!"

Look at Indy's Whip

"I don't think Elaine's into that."

Look at voodoo ben-wa beads

"I don't think Elaine's into that."

Look at display of condoms

"It looks like the two main brands of protection are 'Dial-a-Pirate' and 'Mix-n-Mojo'."

Talk to Stan

"How much for the whip?"  
"How much for the beads?"  
"How much for the condoms?"  
**"Didn't you used to sell ships?"**

"Diversification is the name of the game! The good people of Booty Island were crying out for somebody to provide them with affordable sex aids, so I set up shop and now they're thinking of renaming it Booty Call Island. So, what can I interest you in?"

"How much for the whip?"  
"How much for the beads?"  
**"How much for the condoms?"**

"Two pieces of eight for a pack of the regular kind, but for only five pieces of eight, you can have these novelty pirate condoms."

Look at novelty pirate condoms

"These are just regular condoms with 'Prepare to be boarded' written on them in marker pen."

"Pretty novel, right?"

Give Stan two pieces of eight

"Here you go, sir. Pleasure doing business with you. I've placed your purchase in a plain brown paper bag and I've taken the liberty of adding a little something extra just to say 'thank you for shopping at Stan's Previously Owned Sex Aids'. Remember: if you're feeling fruity, visit Stan's on Booty!"

Walk to quayside

Walk to ship

Sail to Melee Island

Walk to governor's mansion

Open door

Walk to stairs

Walk to bedroom

Open pack of condoms

Use packet of condoms

Use Governor Marley in a negligee

"Mmmm."

**"Ooh."**  
"Aah."  
"Masimawoogle."

"Aah."

"Ooh."  
**"Mmmm"**  
"Masimawoogle."

"Ooh."

**"Aah."**  
"Mmmm"  
"Masimawoogle."

"Yes."

**"Yes."**  
"Masimawoogle."

"Yes!"

"Yes."  
**"Yes!"**  
"Masimawoogle."

"YES!"

"Yes."  
"Yes!"  
**"YES!"**  
"Masimawoogle."

"YES! YES YES!"

"Masimawoogle."

"Masimawoogle, for sure. Hey Guybrush, what's in the bag?"

Open brown paper bag

Pick up Stan's gift

Give Stan's gift to Governor Marley

"A rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle? KINKY!"


End file.
